Your child is a rock star and you are her agent

I imagine an agent has the same experience I have as a  parent.  You client (child) is a rock star. You are just there to serve. (Somehow they envision that you are being paid.) You are expected to be quiet in front of everyone, drive her to her appointments, stay in the car, don't talk, never address her friends, support her efforts, stay in the background.

But then, she snuggles next to you on the couch, asks you to do her make-up, wants you to pick everybody up after teen night, and feed everyone good food.

Take a back seat. Watch and observe. She wants you there, but silently.

Practice.

Grief - AKA, You cannot win

As parents, we are trying to stay current and understand and monitor what our daughters are doing on-line. This may be a sexist statement,  but boys can say anything. An example,  a friend's son's posting,

"On the sixth day of Hanukkah, my sister gave to me, 6 deep-throat blow jobs."

Everyone says, He's a pervert," but they laugh. Our girls say that, they become Jenna Jamison. So the double standard is alive.

I ran into a friend and her daughter the other day and we talked about what she was doing (Boston College grad) and where she was headed. (Taking her MCAT for medical school) Then her mom said. Yeah, our friends say, "Why don't you try to be a nurse?" The three of us look at each other in dismay?

I asked her if she had an on-line profile and she said "No." I tell her " You can create your own website and present your accomplishments for when you apply to grad school."

Our daughters need to know how to do this. Otherwise, they end up subservient to a man's career.

Grief comes from every direction. Stand by your girls. Refuse to let it in. Everyone tries to negate your daughter's position. Try to not let that happen.

It's a  new world, and not in a good way.

You may think I am being negative, but this is the reality our girls face from kindergarten till employment and beyond.

Envision for them everything -  a great job, a fantastic family, a terrific husband and respect for you.

Wild Card

No mattter what you may think of your daughters, they are not you. When they are babies, and everyone is cooing and saying, "Oh she has her ___'s nose or her _____'s whatever, she is just her own self.

As much as I try to understand my own daughters, based on who I am as a woman/daughter, I can't get them to respond as I would or make the decisions they are faced with as I would have.

But I have raised them well. They are smart and unconflicted.

Let them be wild cards, in your life. Don't reel them in. Don't comment. Don't be surprised.

Let them be.