Expect a lot. But let her know.

My daughter, Julia, came out of the bathroom one afternoon, with venom in her eyes and said, "Mom, you know, most parents would be happy with all A's and B's, but not you. You want all A's." In return, I said, "Yes you are right and I understand how you may feel about that. But, I know your IQ and if you are getting B's, you are just being lazy. And if you want to be lazy, you will reap the rewards of a lazy person. I prefer, in advance, to choose the path to the highest rewards for you.

The important part of this conversation is that it did not irritate me. I wasn't mad at her for being a smart-mouth, as my parents would have said to me. I respect her perspective, but I know why I have those expectations. You do need to know what your child is capable of.

Expect them to not understand. Realize their point of view is very limited. Share your wisdom without being condescening or defensive. You can even thank her for saying something so honest and confrontational and risking your anger.

You are teaching her to deal with issues head on - a skill she will need in her adult life. She's  practicing on you.