Your daughter is an over-achiever

    I went to a parent-teacher conference for my daughter, Emma, who was in third grade.  Her teacher was male, first year, out of Penn State. Shortly into the conference, he said, "I think Emma thinks she's smarter than she is."

    Now I happened to know that Emma is very smart. I chose "NOT" to put her into the gifted program. I was in it and I hated it. No child wants to be different.  And anyhow, she had no idea how smart she really was. She was not a bold or provocative child, so I knew that if she was portraying intelligence, it was just because she was.  But I play along, in case I'm not objective and I say, "And?" He says, well I think she is over-achieving." And again I say, "And?'

    Then I wait. Because if it was a boy reaching beyond his level, he wouldn't have commented, he would have supported him. In particular, because it was math that we were discussing, educators have been shown to not advocate for girls.

http://www.nncc.org/Curriculum/sac52_math.science.girls.html

      So, I ask him to continue to support Emma and follow up with me after the next math unit.

     Afternote. Emma  graduated with a 3.97 from high school. A 3.97 as a biology major from college. Is the president of the ENTIRE student body, awarded multiple times for achievement in academics, leadership and service and is going to dental school.

      I rest my case. I mean, really. Pay attention. This is what is being told to our daughters.. Talk to them. Listen to what they hear every day. Then refute it. Alert them to the prejudice. And then ignore it and move beyond.