It's not the same as the 70's.

I don't remember what was the subject du jour, but my oldest daughter said, "Mom, things are different. This isn't the 70's.This isn't Butler High School, Class of '74." As Oprah says, it was an Aha! moment and I realized she was right (Parents hardly ever admit their children are right, but I respect youth. They have clear minds.) If you listen with an open mind, they tell you how to be a good parent to them.

One of the things I have always allowed is lively, spirited debate - open to any and all subjects. As long as there is no disrepect, I  encourage conversations to go way beyond what most parents will. I provoke analysis and persuasion. Why would I quash their best efforts?  Try to remember what you are trying to produce - forward thinking, independent, gutsy, bold, questioning daughters. Let them push the ticket. Give them your time. Every day. Studies show that dinner with your children makes a difference. I've been making dinner, regularly, for 27 years with all my daughters at the table as often as logistically possible.

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No matter what your age as a parent, the pressures our daughters feel is nothing that we remember. Computers, cell phones, I-phones, I-pods.  My youngest knows everything about texting, billing, wireless zones, accessories, apps, and new products.  I bought her phone in April. She has already asked when is she eligible for a new phone. Her phone is already obsolete. She's 11!

It's exhausting to resist change. Welcome change. Change is life.  Life changes every day. Let your daughter teach you. When she says, let me do that for you, because you don't know Excel or Power Point, or how to upload pics, ask her to teach you. It's how we cross the big divide. Be humble. Compliment and thank her. I assure you,  not only do you not lose power, in her eyes, you gain it by not being a know-it-all parent.